Just Saying

I know it prolly has you on an emotional roller coaster but ARENT YOU TIRED OF STORIES GOING IN THE SAME DIRECTION?
Nobody has a perfect relationship!! I sure as fuck dont!! It's always some BS!!
SO DEAL!! Love you guys Bye :) :*

Chapter 28 -> Knocked Up (2/2)

Pls xcuse n e typos :)

SB: hey
Lauren: hey
SB: sup? I was just heading out.
Lauren: going to see Shanell?
SB: laur-
Lauren: It's cool. Do you. I wanted to speak to you about something but maybe you should go see her first.
SB: Look if it's about Nicki...
Lauren: *sigh* Just come see me when you get back
SB: aight.
He responded as he closed the door then they both walked down to his car.
Lauren: later
SB: later ham *smiles*
She gave him back a half smile

When he got to Shanell's he knocked for a good five minutes before she answered the door. He could tell she had been sleeping and her eyes were red and puffy.
SB: you been crying
Shanell: no... allergies
she lied. Her voice was hoarse.
SB: you didn't see me calling you? see my text messages?
Shanell: no my phone is on silent and I haven't checked it since i woke up.. come in
She stepped aside and he walked in.. She closed the door and walked over to the couch.
SB: I was worried so I said i'd come check on you. You know you still haven't told me why you were so upset when you left the pharmacy.
She seemed to just zone out when he said those last words.
SB: babe...did something happen?
She looked at him and she thought about the tests. Her hand unconsciously went to her to her tummy and for a second she felt she had the courage to tell him so she opened her mouth but the wrong words came out.
Shanell: I think I'm gonna be sick
She said before rushing off to the bathroom. He went after her and held her hair back as she emptied her stomach of the food she had earlier. When she was done she closed the lid and flushed. He helped her up and she went to the sink, brushed her teeth and washed her faced that wash drenched in a cold sweat. She pat her face dry with her towel and walked into her bedroom then sat on the bed. He stood in the bathroom doorway looking at her.
SB: do you need me to take you to the doctor?
Shanell: NO! I mean...It's that Chinese food I ate.
SB: but just to make sure it's not something else
Shanell: something else like what?!
SB: It could be a stomach bug.
"stomach bug is right" She thought to herself
Shanell: I'm fine Safaree! If it's the same tomorrow then I'll go see a doctor.
SB: alright. Just call me before you go ok.
Shanell: ok.You're leaving now?
SB: do you want me to staya?
Shanell: No it's ok. besides if it's something contagious I don't want you to catch it.
Then she thought " Fuck if babies were contagious that would be some shit!"
SB: Ok. But take your phone off silent. Ima call and check on you later.
Shanell: ok
She gave him a weak smile and he kissed her forehead.
SB: go get some rest. I'll let myself out.
She head for the bedroom as he head for the door. She made her way to the middle of the bed pulled her knees up and let her tears fall.

On his way back he called Lauren to find out where she was then drove to see her.

SB: what's up Ham?
He said with a smile as she let him in
Lauren: don't  get punched in the throat! What i tell you about calling me that?
SB: *chuckles* but-
Lauren: Safaree!
She said in a stern voice. He laughed
Lauren: so how'd it go?
SB: how'd what go?
Lauren: your visit with... her?
SB: she's not well, she's throwing up but she refused to let me take her top the doctor
Lauren: oh she didn't tell you?
SB: tell me what?
Lauren:... what is wrong with her?
She said looking away. She wanted to but by right she knew it wasn't for her to tell him.
SB: she said it was the Chinese food she ate
Lauren: the CHinese food huh?... that's a  new one
She mumbled the last part
SB: what exactly are you trying to say? You know what's wrong with her?
Lauren: there are a few things I know Safaree
She said and  stopped. He looked at her waiting and when she said nothing more he asked
SB: a few things like what?
Lauren: I know for a fcat that you love my best friend. That you want her in you life so badly its driving you crazy and what your doing with Shanell is just to mask your true feelings, to hide how really hurt you are. Maybe everyone is blind to it Safaree but I see right through it. You know what happened the last time something happened between you and Shanell and you're thinking maybe just maybe this will get her attention. But what you really need to do is go back and fight for you relationship before it gets too complicated.
SB: Laur-
Lauren: NO! It's the truth and you know it!
SB: You wanna know something I am sick and tired of everyone tellign me to fight for my relationship with Nicki! It wasnt just My relationship it was hers too! Do you see her fighting for it?! Are y'all yelling at her telling her to fight for her relationship?! No! Why should I be the only one putting out effort to make this right?! Why shouild I be the only one tryna fight?!
He got up and walked to the door then opened it and before he walked out he turned to her
SB: Maybe what I have with Shanell isn't anywhere close to what I thought I had with Nicki, but it's better than chasing something that no longer matters.
Lauren: Saf-
He slammed the door behind him cutting her off.

****
It was four days since he'd seen her, she had called and told him she was going to visit her mom for a few days. They text each other while she was gone but she seemed to have an excuse every time it came time for them to talk over the phone. He wasn't the only one who called her while she was gone, she got several from Lauren but she never took one. She knew Lauren hadn't told Safaree about the baby or he would have said something to her in their text conversations so she didnt worry too much about that. She walked in her door and dropped her bag right behind it as she closed it. All she wanted to do was take a shower at the moment. She walked to her bathroom stripping along the way. When she was done she she walked back to her bedroom in only her robe. She removed it, moisturized her skin and put it back on. She went and got her phone from her bag and dialed his number. He picked on half way into the first ring
SB: Baby are you ok? What's up?
Shanell: I'm home. I need you to come over, we need to talk.
SB: Ok I'll be there in 5 I'm close by
She hung up putting her phone in the pocket of her robe and picking up her bag from behind the door. She took time making something to eat and as she sat eating there was a knock at the door.
Shanell: it's open
She yelled. The door opened and he walked in
SB: baby?
She took a sip of her tea. He heard the cup against the counter and head for the kitchen.He walked up behind her and leaned down
SB: I missed you *kisses her cheek*
She never uttered a word. She ate the last bite from her plate and drank the last of her tea.
SB: so you didnt miss me while you were gone?
Shanell: May I ask you something?
SB: sure Baby anything
Shanell: What do I do for you?
SB: where is this coming from?
Shanell: that doesnt answer my question Safaree!
SB: you do a lot for me
Shanell: like what?
SB: You make me smile, you make me feel appreciated, you-
Shanell: I'll never be her
She cut him off
SB: I never expe-
She put her finger on his lips and he stopped mid sentence.
Shanell: You an dI both know this isnt going to work. You're hurt, she hurt you badly I understand but I dont wanna be the just your source of comfort until she finds out gets mad and you walk back into her life. I-
SB: You think I'm using you? Baby I would never.What I feel for you is real.She has the person she wants in her life and that person isnt me. I moving on... with you.
He kissed her
SB: I dont want you going around thinking you're just here for me to get my dick wet til Nicki decides to take me back. I'm over her ok. *pecks her lips and pulls her into a hug* Now You ready for your performance with Wayne tomorrow night?
Shanell: *sigh* I'm not performing
SB: Why not? What happened?
Shanell: I told him I wasnt up for it. Doctor's orders. So he changed his set. But I told him I'd still be there for support.
SB: awee baby *kisses her* So what'd the doctor say.
Shanell: Well it's not... contagious
She managed between kisses.
Shanell: mmmm dont start
He lifted her back onto her chair and stood between her legs
SB: Why not? I missed you
Shanell: How'd we get frm... sss.. mmm
She moaned as he sucked on  her neck
SB: see you missed me too
Shanell: dont get cocky.. ahhmm.... Promise to be slow ss and gentle
SB: Sure you can manage
Shanell: mmmfuck!! No! But.. sss. I need you to be
SB: Promise
 he said before pushing her legs apart and gently inserting two fingers inside her

*****

Jhené stood looking at her as she opened the shower door. She handed her her towel and she wrapped it around herself.
Jhené: are you gonna stay mad at me for this whole trip?
She didnt respond just walked out the bathroom leaving her she followed her into the bedroom of their suite and stood watching her every move. Nicki went through her bag finding something to wear, moisturized her skin then got dressed. She still payed Jhené no mind.
Jhené: fine Onika. Two can play that game.
She turned to head back for the bathroom and stopped.
Jhené: you know I did that for us. She wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't gon to see her. I told you everything that happened when I was with her. Honesty, that's what you said right. But you still don't think I'm telling you everything. Well why dont you have that private investigator of yours give you the details. Maybe you'll believe him.
Nicki's eyes shot to hers
Jhené: yes I know about him. Honesty. It works both ways you know. I didnt tell you I was going to see her because you would have never agreed to me doing it. But it's whatever. I'm going to shower.
She walked away. Nicki closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh as she laid back on the bed. When Jhené got out of the bathroom she was fast asleep. She kissed her lightly on the lips and pulled the cover up over her. She went around to her side of the bed an laid staring up at the dark ceiling for most of the night.

When Nicki woke up the next morning in bed alone. She sighed looked at the empty side of the bed and got up heading for the bathroom. When she was showered and got back to the bedroom there was a note on her pillow. She took it up and read
"Good Morning. I made you breakfast, enjoy"
But she really didnt feel like eating. She got dressed in sweats cause she had 1 rehearsal before the show later. She got her phone and called Jhené but she didnt answer so she sent her a text
"where are you"- BabyCakes
But she didnt respond

COMMENT! :*

Chapter 27 --> Knocked Up (1/2)

She looked at the four pregnancy tests she had done and sat on the edge of the tub still in disbelief.  They each had two pink lines that indicated she was pregnant. She felt the tears forming in her eyes and closed them causing them to slowly run down her cheek. She got up walked to the bathroom sink and washed her hands, then her face, she dried them with her towel and made her way to the bedroom and crawled into bed. As she pulled the covers over her she heard her phone ringing. She took a deep breath and threw the covers back; she had left her phone in the bathroom. She checked to see who the call was from when she got back in bed but she didn’t recognize the number, the phone began ringing again.

Shanell: hello

She answered

Lauren: hi

Shanell: oh it’s you

Lauren: you sound like you’ve been crying

Shanell: I sound like I’ve been sleeping because I was. What do you want?

She lied

Lauren: don’t take that tone with me and you know why I called you. Did-

Shanell: yes I did the test

She cut her off

Lauren: And?

Shanell: And?

Lauren: stop beating around the bush. Are you pregnant or not?

She was quiet.

Shanell: I haven’t gone back to check yet

Lauren: well go

Shanell: I’ll call you back

Lauren: no just go check and tell me

Shanell: you’re acting like it’s yours. Hold on

She put the phone on hold and ran her hand over her face. She laid there just looking at the ceiling trying to gather the courage to lie to Lauren. She was a nervous wreck when she took the phone off hold.

Shanell: I’m… I’m not pregnant

She said in one breath. But the way she said it, the way she hesitated Lauren knew she wasn’t being honest.

Lauren: you’re not a very good liar

She didn’t say anything

Lauren: have you told him?

Shanell: there’s nothing to tell I just told you I’m-

Lauren: lying and you know it so stop!! I won’t let him hurt twice. He needs to know Shanell.

Shanell: I don’t want to hurt him either Lauren that is exactly why I’m not telling him. It’ll make my decision much easier to deal with.

Lauren: you’re decision? You’re thinking about having an abortion?! Are you fucking crazy right now?! Do you know what that’ll do to him?!

Shanell: That is exactly why he will not find out!! YOU BETTER NOT BREATHE A WORD OF THIS TO ANYONE!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!

Lauren: I’m not gonna just stand aside and let you do this to him!! He has a right to know Shanell!

Shanell: I’m not having this convo with you anymore. Just keep your mouth shut about this!

She said and hung up. She put her hand protectively over her tummy and cried herself to sleep.

**

Jhené: are you going back to the studio after we finish lunch?

Nicki: yeah. I have to meet up with Wayne he wants to talk about doing a show in New York

Jhené: when?

Nicki: he didn’t say yet

She said reaching over and wiping at Jhené’s mouth with her napkin

Jhené: thank you and ok.

Nicki: I’ll let you know as soon as we speak though. So how has your day been going?

Jhené: great so far. Spoke to my mom. She and my dad are planning to come back for month. Daddy misses running his business (they both smiled) and she says they miss having Tay around. Oh and she wants to spend some time getting to know you

Nicki: What’d you tell her about me? *giggles*

Jhené: only good stuff of course *smiles* and apparently Tay keeps bragging about you

They laughed.

Nicki: did she tell them about her and Candi

Jhené: If she did mom would call me freaking out. They still know her to be straight

Nicki: she needs to tell them the truth though

Jhené: I’ve told her that so many times since she told me and now that they’re coming she is going to have to.

Nicki looked at the time and checked her phone. She had put it on silent once she met up with Jhené.

Nicki: mmkay. I have to get back. Wayne was calling me. Where’d the waiter go?

Jhené: It’s ok babe I got it.

Nicki: I did it again... Sorry.

Jhené: It’s ok.

Nicki: Ok

She stood and Jhené stood to hug her.

Jhené: enjoy the rest of your day.

Nicki: you to hun. Yours later right?

Jhené: yeah. What do you want for dinner?

Nicki: just surprise me

Jhené: ok

Nicki: Love you baby.

Jhené: love you more she responded before she left the restaurant. She called the waiter over, paid there bill then went back to work.

**

She woke with a terrible headache and her stomach growled as she sat up in bed. Her eyes were puffy from crying and she felt a bit light headed so she closed her eyes and rested her face in her palm for a bit. She took a couple deep breaths and got up to go pee.  When she walked into the kitchen she had to hold on to the counter to not fall. She really needed to eat. She tried her best to gain her balance and hurried to put a sandwich together. She ate it as she called and ordered some Chinese. She didn’t feel for anything she had to cook so she made herself another sandwich and waited for the food.

After she ate she made some tea and went to lie down. It was after 6 when she checked her phone and she had a few missed from Lauren again and a few from Safaree. She was scared to call him back because she didn’t know whether Lauren had told him about the baby or not. Just as she was about to put the phone down it started ringing. He was calling back but she ignored the call. She fell asleep shortly after.

He decided to go see her. He took his keys up and as he opened the door he was met by Lauren who was just about to knock on the door…

 To be continued...

Chapter 26 --> Choices We Make

Excuse any typos plz... 

Candi pulled on her t-shirt and went to get some cotton shorts from her drawer before she walked out to speak to him. He was sitting on her living room couch, a couch they had got nasty on so many times, waiting for her. He looked her over from head to toe as she walked in and sat on the couch with one leg folded under her. He looked over the huge red mark on her neck and shook his head and looked away. He wasn’t even sure how to feel about the whole situation. He knew one thing for sure he loved her but he didn’t wanna end up like him. It was a good 7 minutes of silence between them before she said something.

Candi: *sigh* babe look-

JB: She doesn’t have to stay in the room

Candi: umm she’s taking a shower.

JB: word... So y’all just fucked?

She looked down

Candi: Babe…

JB: what? You can at least be honest to my face Candice

Candi: you’re making it sound like I lied to you about her.

JB: I didn’t know about her! I didn’t even know you were into girls!

Candi: I didn’t tell you about her. YET! There’s a difference and you didn’t ask me.

JB: How serious is this thing between you too?

He asked not looking at her

Candi: I don’t know… *looks down again* It seems pretty serious at the moment. I’m not even into girls that much it’s just… With Tay it’s different

It got silent again and she sat watching his every action but he never looked across at her.

Candi: say something

She said softly. It had already been 20 minutes since they were sitting there.  Candi looked back when she heard her bedroom door open, Tay walked out clad only in a t-shirt that fell right below her butt.

Tay: hey she said as she passed them in the living room and made her way to the kitchen.

JB: She looks pretty young. Where’d y’all meet?

He asked in a low tone.

Candi: she… She’s Jhené’s sister

JB: Nicki’s friend Jhené?

Candi: yes

JB: *chuckles* why am I not fucking surprised

Candi: What’s that suppose to mean?

JB: Nothing!

He said getting up?

Candi: you’re leaving?

JB: don’t wanna keep you from your girlfriend.

Candi: Don’t even start

He turned around and looked at her

JB: what am I starting?

Candi: Bullshit Jus and you know it.

She semi yelled

JB: So you expect to just hang around while she’s here?

Candi: why not?

He laughed then looked at her again to see if she was really serious.

Candi:  you could at least talk to her, chill with us and get to know her

JB: Candi I’m not finna agree to this relationship if that’s what you’re hoping for. Safaree did and look what it got him! Niggas going around clowning him talking about how he lost Nicki to another woman because he couldn’t put it down in the bedroom. Nah I don’t play that shit! So here’s what I’ll do, I’ll give you a little space and time to play doll house with your girl. I’m flying back to New York on the weekend. I’ll call you before I leave.

He said then walked out.  She couldn’t hold the tears and they trickled down her cheeks. She got up and head to the bedroom. Tay had been listening to their whole conversation and when Candi got to the bedroom room she hurried out the door and down the steps to find him. She caught up with him as he was walking down the driveway. She called to him.

Tay: Hey!

He stopped looking back and she walked down to where he stood.

Tay: you know you ain’t gotta make this out to be such a bad thing

 He looked up shook his head and turned around walking off again.

Tay: you could benefit from this relationship if you wanted to.

He stopped again and turned around. She looked him over as she walked down to where he stood again.

JB: How old are you?

Tay: old enough. *smirks*

JB: *chuckles* Not like you could handle. Besides she ain’t never gon agree to that and honestly I’m not interested.

Tay: the lies *laughs* It’s EVERY man’s dream and by the way you’re looking at me I know damn well that you are interested. Save the games for someone who has time to play. Cause I don’t. You don’t wanna lose her do you?

JB: Is that a threat?

Tay: I don’t make threats. *smiles*

JB: You don’t know her very well do you?

She raised her brows and looked up with still smiling

Tay: or maybe I just know her better than you do.

He made to say something but bit his lip as she shook his head no instead. He got in his car and started the engine.

JB: go put some clothes on

Tay: knew you were looking she said with a smug little grin then turned and walked back to the apartment.

He shook his head realizing he was staring and drove off.

**

It was five days after Shaneeqa’s call that Nicki decided to return her call. She was home alone and had just finished talking to Jhené who was also home alone because her sister was at Candi’s. Sheaneeqa answered on the third ring

Neeqa: Hello

Nicki: hey. Just getting a chance to return your call, what’s up?

Neeqa: Just getting a chance or did she just tell you I called?

Nicki: What did you want Shaneeqa?

Neeqa: *sigh*… sis what’s going on with you?

Nicki: what do you mean?

Neeqa: You know exactly what I mean Nika. What happened to you and Safaree?

Nicki: Listen-

Neeqa: No you listen. My brother has loved you since the day you two just became friends. How are you just gonna walk out on this relationship after all you went through to be with him?

Nicki: He’s the one who walked out!

Neeqa: because you gave him a reason to!... How is he to feel knowing he lost his girlfriend to another woman?

Nicki: He agreed to my relationship with Jhené!

Neeqa: You are so selfish Onika. Are you even hearing yourself right now? That gave you no right to hurt him like you did! Did you stop and think maybe just maybe he agreed because he didn’t want to lose you?

Nicki: I’m selfish?!-

Neeqa: Yes you are!!

She cut her off before she could say another word

Neeqa: You’re not even trying to fight for him. How long do you think this little fling with you and this girl is gonna last?

Nicki: You are stepping way over your fucking line right now! That girl has a name and I’d appreciate it if you addressed her by it. What we have is not a fling I take my relationship very serious so watch your mouth! You keep talking about how Safaree feels and shit what about how I feel?

Neeqa: After what you pulled I wasn’t aware you had feelings left but how do you feel Onika?

She was quiet on the other end of the line.

Neeqa: *chuckles* but you know with all the bullshit you’re doing I know its one thing you can never deny and that’s that you love him.

Nicki: There are things I love about him. He’s my best friend he’s knows me better than I know myself… But I’m not in love with him.

Neeqa: Bullshit!!! Do you love her?

Nicki: Shaneeqa… *sigh*

Neeqa: right… Pussy that good huh?

She shot at her

Nicki: head game greater than you could image

Nicki shot back

Neeqa: You’re gonna be so fucking sorry

Nicki: you think you know me don’t you? Never that! Next time you call my phone and my girlfriend answers think twice about being rude!

Neeqa: Bye Nicki!

Nicki: Bye Bitch!

She said as she ended the call and tossed the phone on the bed. She was pissed. “How dare she? Who the fuck does she think she is?” She thought as she made her way to the bathroom. She turned the tap on to fill the tub and left it as she peed. She needed to do something to relax so she figured a hot bath might do the trick. She lit some scented candles around the tub as she waited for it to fill up.

** (2 wks and 4days gone)

Neeqa: May I asked you something?

She asked walk

SB: what?

Neeqa: Did you sleep with her?

SB: with whom?

Neeqa: don’t try me Safaree. The ho you were out with when you just got here? And is she the one you’re still seeing? Or is it another one?

SB: That really isn’t any of your business

Neeqa: you are going around sleeping with random bitches Safaree!!

SB: I was out with someone I know. That’s all you needa know about that.

Neeqa: Dumbass!! You’re both gonna regret this shit!

SB: Mind your business sis.

He said as he walked out the door.

She was at her apartment waiting for him to come over. Her cycle was six days late so she was a bit worried. That night when she saw him at the club and they had come back to her place, drank and had some crazy sex. She didn’t remember everything that had happened that night but there were bits and pieces that she did. She remembered quite clearly though waking up to go pee and seeing his naked body in the bed next to hers. She was pulled from her thoughts by a knock on her apartment door.

Shanell: coming!

She said as she got out of bed and went to let him in. He hugged her when she opened the door and kissed her forehead

SB: hey beautiful

Shanell: hey

She said in a low tone

SB: you ok babe?

Shanell: yeah just a bit tired…

SB: Did you eat? I brought you some fruits.

Shanell: *smiles* thank you baby.

She said as she took them from him. He closed the door as she walked into the kitchen to was and peel her fruits. She put some in a bowl to eat and the remainder in a small container in the fridge. She took her bowl of fruits and went to go sit by him on the couch. He wrapped his arm around her and she began eating. She sat trying to find the words to tell him she might be pregnant but she couldn’t find the courage.  She decided not to. She was going to get an at home pregnancy test and find out. “What if he doesn’t want a baby? What if he and Nicki are gonna get back together? I’m not ready for this! What if I tell him and he wants to keep this baby? Nicki already hates me! Hell she isn’t the only one. I can’t... It’s no way I’m keeping this baby. I can’t tell him. I-“

SB: Shanell… Shanell

Shanell: huh?

SB: are you sure you’re ok?

Shanell: yeah

SB: you didn’t hear a word I just said did you?

Shanell: I’m sorry. I’m just … I don’t know where my mind is.

SB: I was asking if you want to come with me. I’m going to pick something up by Vince’s place

Shanell: Umm ok. Lemme go change.

After going by Vince they made a couple more stops and she asked him to take her to the pharmacy.  She picked up 5 of the First Response Pregnancy Kits and took them to the cashier. Safaree was waiting for her by the car. Just when she was about to tell the cashier to hurry up Lauren walked up with some personal items of her own. She looked at the items the middle aged woman had scan for Shanell as she told her balance. She took the money out and handed it to the woman.

Lauren: You’re pregnant?!

The woman looked between the two as she placed the items in a bag. Lauren just stood looking at Shanell. The lady handed over her change and the bag. She said thank you with a small fake smile and turned to walk out. Lauren walked after her reaching out and grabbing her arm

Lauren: I asked you a question Shanell

Shanell: *sigh* How is that any of your business?

Lauren: Is it Safaree’s?

Shanell looked away

Lauren: OMG!! He hasn’t even been here a freaking month

Shanell: look I have to go

She turned to walk away and Lauren’s words stopped her

Lauren: does he know?

She turned around and looked at her

Shanell: what do you want from me?

Lauren: the truth.

Shanell: NO! He doesn’t know anything about this and I’d like to keep it that way until I know for myself!

Lauren: WOW!! You waste no time do you?

Shanell: look I’m really not up for an argument or a lecture from you right now so please… I have to go

Lauren: Give me your number

Shanell: is this a joke?

Lauren: do I look like I’m laughing

She gave her the number and she saved it in her phone.

Lauren: You better answer when I call

Shanell: whatever

She said and walked off. When she made it back to the car Safaree was standing talking to Vince who had been waiting on Lauren.

SB: Did you get what you wanted?

Shanell: yes

She said getting in the car and slamming the door.

Vince: Man you sure you not taking things too fast?

SB: I’m good man. I’ma take her home. We’ll talk.

He got in the driver’s seat and they drove off. As Vince was about to head to check on Lauren he saw her coming and the look on her face had him puzzled. How did she walk into the pharmacy and walked out pissed.

Vince: what happened?

Lauren: Shanell is pregnant

Was all she said and got in the car.

**

Nicki: Why did she go to Hawaii…….. Crazy ass bitch!! She really doesn’t want it with me…………… Look just get all the fucking information together and get it to me as soon as possible and don’t fuck this up or you’re both gonna end up missing or in fucking body bags!! Ugh!

She hung up.

Jhené: who are you threatening over the phone?

She asked curiously as she crawled back into bed.

Nicki: No one important.

She responded and pecked her lips. Jhené didn’t believe her but she let it go.

Jhené: ok you are getting too spoiled. We spend too much time in bed. Sooooo tomorrow you are going to the studio and I am going to work.

Nicki: how about you come to the studio with me?

She said and gave her her lil innocent face

Jhené: don’t try that face on me it’s not gon work today *smiles*

Nicki: but come on when’s the last time you went to the studio?

Jhené: It’s been a while but me going to the studio with you equals you being distracted so no. I’ll go next week. I’m good for now

Nicki: I won’t be dist-

Jhené: Yes you will *pecks lips*

Nicki folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

Jhené: Awwe *giggles* my baby has the cutest pout ever *kisses her cheeks and then starts to tickle her*

Nicki burst into a fit of laugher and they rolled around as she tried to get Jhené to stop. She begged and begged until finally telling her she was gon pee on herself. When she stopped Nicki laid eyes closed with a huge smile plastered on her face. Jhené knelt looking down at her. Nicki, eyes still closed and still smiling asked

Nicki: what?

Jhené: I’m just tryna take it all in

Nicki: pauz *giggles*to take what in *opens eyes*

Jhené: how absolutely beautiful and breath talking you are

Nicki closed her eyes again as her smile grew even wider and her cheeks went red. Jhené leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose before resting her forehead against hers. Her hair fell like a curtain around their heads.  She was silent for a moment before

Jhené: I love you Onika Maraj

Nicki opened her eyes and looked into hers. She ran her thumb across Jhené’s lips

Nicki I love you too baby

She closed her eyes and brought her lips to hers and kissed her.

Chapter 25 -> Letting Go Pt 3/3

It was when Nicki got home from dropping Jhené and Tay home that she realized SB’s car was missing. She took her phone up from the passenger’s seat and called him several times but his phone went straight to voicemail.

Nicki: Oh he thinks I have the fucking time

She said out loud. She got out the car and head inside; she walked to the front door and armed the alarm. She stormed up to her bedroom mumbling as she went.

When she woke up the next morning and looked at the clock it read 11: 53 am, she was in bed alone. She looked to his side of the bed and rolled her eyes. She reached for her phone and called his number again. It rang but he ignored it. She tried once more and it just rang until it went to voicemail. She texted him “you know I absolutely HATE it when you don’t answer my calls” after waiting for a while and getting no response she called Lauren

Lauren: Hello

She answered with sleep on her voice

Nicki: did you see when Safaree left last night?

Lauren: Good morning to you too bitch and yes I did.

Nicki: *takes deep breath* did he say where he was going?

Lauren: you know Nicki s-

Nicki: Spare me the fucking lecture right now Lauren

Lauren: fine! What the fuck ever! But just don’t come running to me crying in the end. He’s in New York!

She said in an angry tone and hung up.

Nicki: fuck you too.

She responded as she took the phone from her ear. She threw the covers back and made her way to the bathroom. After completing her morning routine she got dressed and called her driver. She had studio time and she didn’t feel like driving. She was off the whole session. She did one verse like 12 times tryna get it right and she still didn’t like it. She didn’t even bother trying to work on the second.  She had the driver take her home. She dialed her number as she took the turkey bacon from the fridge.

Nicki: hey baby

Jhené: hey, what’s up? Aren’t you supposed to be at the studio?

Nicki: *sigh* yeah but… didn’t go so well

Jhené: babe why do you sound like that?

Nicki: we need to talk, can you come over?

Jhené: can you give me an hour?

Nicki: ok

She hung up.

**

Jhené called her as she pulled in the gate

Jhené: front door

Nicki: it’s open

Jhené: ok

She walked in and closed the front door gently then locked it.

Nicki: I’m upstairs baby!

She heard Nicki shout after the lock clicked. She ran her hand through her hair and looked over the black and white image in her hand. She had to tell her no later than today. Jhené made her way up the stairs and to Nicki’s room. She was in bed. She put the image in the side of her bag and walked over to the bed, bent down, kissed her then sat dropping her bag to the floor beside the bed.

Jhené: what’s up?

She reached around putting the ice cream she was eating on the bedside table and scooted over patting the spot she was just in. Jhené got in and faced her. Nicki pushed her hair back from her face and ran her thumb over her lip. Jhené kissed her finger.

Nicki: may I ask you something?

Jhené: anything babe

Nicki: *looks down* how far do you think our relationship will go? I mean what if there are things you want that I can’t give you?

Jhené: like what baby? I already have all I need and that’s you. Our relationship will go as far as you want it to go. I’m down for whatever it takes to make you happy.

She said as Nicki looked into her eyes

Nicki: but what about Safaree?

Jhené: what about him?

Nicki: you don’t mind having to share me with somebody else?

Jhené: when we started this it was you and him. I don’t expect you to break that off because of me. I told you before that I don’t wanna be the reason y'all break up.

Nicki: but… what if I have a problem with it?

Jhené: with what?

Nicki: being with both of you.

Jhené was silent for a minute.

Jhené: Then it is what it is Nicki and I’ll just have to accept it. You were with him in the beginning and I knew exactly wha-

Nicki leaned in and kissed her

Nicki: I wanna be with you… Only you…

Jhené: Nicki-

Nicki: Baby I'm sure. You are who I want to be with

Jhené: There’s something I need to tell you…

** New York

Neeqa: you gonna stay moping around my house?

SB: you gonna stay nagging me about it?

Neeqa: yes!! You’re not even fighting for your relationship!

SB: I’m done fighting for shit with Nicki.

Neeqa: just like that huh! You can’t be my fucking brother!

She said shaking her head then walking out the room. He tossed the pillow at the door and laid back. A few minutes later he got up pulled his shirt on and left. His sister just shook her head as he went through the front door.

Shaneeqa scrolled through her phone and found Nicki’s number. The phone rang twice before a sleepy voice answered her on the other end

Neeqa: Nicki?

Jhené: No she’s a sleep

Jhené looked at the caller ID

Neeqa: Jhené right? So you’re answering her phone now?

Jhené: Yes this is her and I got permission to.

Neeqa: Just tell my sister to call me

She said then hung up.

*Later Evening*

He was at the club with a few of his friends when he ran into Shanell. They sat talking at the bar.

SB: so what happened to you? You just disappeared?

Shanell: well Wayne and I broke up a while now and I’ve been out here just to get away. I’m still with Young Money I’m just not living in LA.

SB: Word

He said and sipped his drink

Shanell; so how’d you and Ms Nicki work out? Is she here in New York with you?

SB: Well it was working out… No she’s not here. Doubt she knows where I am to be honest. Or if she even cares

He mumbled the last part as he took another sip of his drink.

Shanell: Oh… What do you mean “was working out?” aren’t y’all still together?

SB: Long story I’d really rather not get into it right now

Shanell: ok… So what’s the plan for the rest of the night?

SB: none why you got something in mind?

Shanell: I was thinking we could go back to my place and chill. I have drinks

SB: yeah that’d be cool. I’m not really feeling the crowd anyway

Shanell: did you drive?

SB: Nah Vince did. It’s cool we can just leave

He followed her out the club and to her car.  His phone rang as he sat in the passenger side; he looked at the caller ID and saw his sister’s name so he ignored it.  Shaneeqa tried his number over and over again but he wouldn’t answer.

They were at half a bottle of Ciroc sitting on her couch laughing their asses off.

Shanell: Can’t believe she left you for another woman though.

SB: Well she didn’t leave me yet but I’m over that shit to be honest. I agreed to that whole thing and look what it got me. I walking away from it because it makes no sense sitting around waiting for her to tell me it’s over. I might end up doing something crazy if that happens

He said as he turned to face her on the couch. Their faces were so close and felt to be getting closer by the second

Shanell: I’m really sorry that happened to you. *looks down* She has no idea what she’s losing

As she finished her sentence she felt his lips on hers.

When he woke up the next morning and looked over at the sleeping body beside him he felt a pain in his chest. He was hurt that it wasn’t the woman he had spent his life loving but he felt like it was something he needed to do. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He checked his phone and saw 44 missed calls from his sister and a few from his boys but no recent ones from her. He sighed and put the phone back down then got dressed. He left her sleeping and called him a cab to get back to his sister’s.

When he got in she was sitting in the kitchen stirring her tea. She looked at him shook her head and sipped

Neeqa: which ho you were out with?

SB: I wasn’t out with no ho and who I was out with is none of your concern

Neeqa: wow! I’m trying to help you save your relationship and you’re on some bullshit

SB: there is no relationship to save. I lost her the day I agreed to that relationship between her and Jhené

Neeqa: Safaree I-

SB: No! Just let it go ok

He walked off to his room leaving her. She took a sip of her tea and dialed Nicki’s number again

** (back in LA)

Nicki was sitting on her bedroom patio her legs folded under her, a glass of OJ beside her as she sat taking in the morning sun. She was out thinking about what Jhené had told her. She looked down at the little grey and white image before her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath the reopened them and took a sip of her orange juice. Jhené had told her the about the baby and now she wanted even more to find Leah. She drank the last of her orange juice and got up to go inside only to meet Jhené in the patio door. She was going outside to see what Nicki was doing. Nicki draped her arms around her neck and pecked her lips

Nicki: Good morning sleeping beauty

Jhené smiled and kissed her

Jhené: Good morning luscious

She said against her lips. Nicki smiled big.

Nicki: What do you wanna do today?

Jhené: anything you wanna do? I just needa check up on Tay.

Nicki: k and I just wanna stay inside *pecks lips* in bed *pecks lips again* and have some fun with you *kisses her deeply*

Jhené moaned in her mouth.

Jhené: I love the sound of that *smiles*

They were about to kiss again when Nicki’s phone rang she reached into the pocket of her robe and looked at the caller ID then answer

Nicki: what you got?

Caller: She’s in your area. I’ve got all the details on her and her family. I’ll drop them off for you later. I have some other info you may be interested in

Nicki: about?

Caller: Safaree. He was seen leaving a club in New York last night with Shanell and leaving her place this morning

She remained silent

Caller: Nicki?

Nicki: I’m here just make sure you drop that off by 12

Caller: aight

She hung up

Jhené: who was that?

Nicki: someone I have doing some business for me. Now where were we?

She said and they began kissing again.

**

Candi and Tay were laying in her bed giggling.

Tay: I have something to tell you

Candi: what?

Tay: promise you’ll remain cool

Candi: *pecks her lips* I promise

Tay: I have her phone

Candi: whose phone?

She asked scrunching up her eyebrows

Tay: Leah

She said softly

Candi: wait… what? How?

Tay: since I went to see her at the cabin. I took her phone from her

Candi lay shocked

Candi: are you serious?

Tay reached down to the floor for her bag and pulled the phone out and showed it to Candi

Candi: giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirllll Uh uh! How dare you keep this from us *burst out laughing* you a g.

Tay laughed.  They heard Candi’s door close and keys landing on the dining table. They both got wide eyed.

JB: Candice baby you in here we need to talk

Candi fell back on the bed and closed her eyes

Candi: fuck

Tay: you still haven’t told him about us?

Candi opened her eyes and looked at Tay/. Tay shook her head and wrapping the sheet around her head for the bathroom.

Candi: I’m in here

JB: is that her car behind yours in the driveway?

Candi: J-

JB: It’s cool just… We need to talk. I’ll wait out here

Candi: I’ll be out in a min

She responded before pulling the pillow over her head and screaming into it.

OK this chapter was suppose to be waaaaaaaaaaaay longer but I didnt like it :/ so after a bag of editing this is what's left. I really hope you all enjoyed it even though it was short. Look out for the next chapter -> Choices We Make.

Chapter 24 --> Letting Go Pt 2/3

This is the shortest One I cut it short on purpose. :P

He had a few bags packed that he was bringing to his car. He put the duffle on the passenger side and the two larger bags in the trunk. When he was done moving his luggage he locked up and got in the truck to drive back to the cabin. On his way his phone rang. It was his sister double checking with him on flight information and time.  

**

Tay ran inside to quickly check on Jhené and MJ. They were both asleep. She paced the floor of the living as she wondered if they had gotten to the cabin and what was happening. She was about to reach into her right pocket for her phone when she felt a vibration in the left. That’s when she remembered she had Leah’s phone. She pulled it out and looked at the caller ID, it said Amber. She let it ring until it stopped and it began ringing again immediately after. But she ignored it as she used her phone to call Candi. When she got no answer she tried Lauren’s then Nicki’s, but none of them answered her.

When the girls got to the cabin they marched up to the front door and without bothering to knock they turned the door knob, but it was locked. Nicki banged her fist against the door and waited but heard no one. She banged the door again.

Terrence: ladies don’t y'all think you should calm d……. ok

He stopped talking as they turned around and shot him a look. Candi stepped down from the front and went to walk around to the back of the house. She looked in windows as she walked but it seemed empty. When she got around the back and tried the door it was open. She walked in and opened the front door

Candi: that bitch knew we would come for her ass she’s not in here

Lauren: check the bedroom for her bags

TT: I’m on it.

All this time Nicki just stood there her blood boiling. When TT came back from the bedrooms and told them there were no bags in the bedroom she slammed her fist against the door one last time so hard this time it caused the glass to shatter to the floor. Her hand got cut in the process. They rushed towards her as she clutched her hand with the other. When they tried to see it she wouldn’t let them she told them she was fine and she turned and went out the door and down the pass in the direction of their cabin.  When she got in the front door Jhené rushed to her seeing the blood all over her hands.  She made it to kitchen sink and turned the pipe on it washing the blood away but the gash kept bleeding

Tay: Oh my God you guys what happened?

Candi: her ass got lucky we didnt find her

TT took a now awake MJ from Tay’s arms as Lauren went to get the first aid kit Nicki had brought

Jhené:  we need to get you to a hospital

She said not looking at her. Tay had told her what had happened and where they had gone.

Nicki: the only person going to a hospital is that bitch when I find her

She said in a soft deadly tone. Jhené looked at her but she never took her eyes off the gash on her hand that had now seemed to slow in bleeding.  When Lauren came back with the bandages Jhené took it from her

Jhené: I’ll do it

She said a little louder than a whisper and you could hear the hurt in her voice. She got the peroxide and opened the bottle

Jhené: this is gonna sting

She said as she gently poured it out onto the wound. Nicki sucked her breath in and closed her eyes. Jhené cleaned nd dried the wound and bandaged it. As she finished Nicki walked away and head to her room her right hand well bandaged and clutched to her chest. Jhené went after her. Everybody stood in the living room in their own space angry hurt their minds wondering as they looked in there different directions until they were drawn back to the here and now by Tay's phone ringing in her pocket. She looked at the screen and didn't recognize the number but she knew the voice she heard when she put the phone to her ear.

Leah: You think this is over but it's not

She said before hanging up.

**

Jhené: Nicki don’t do this please

Nicki: don’t do what?! Don’t defend you?! Don’t protect what’s mine?!

Jhené: that’s not what I’m saying

Nicki: then what are you saying Jhené

Jhené: I’m saying don’t give her the attention she’s looking for. 

She walked up to her and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Jhené: baby Leah and I are done. I want nothing to do with her. I don’t want you getting hurt and I don’t want you worrying about her. She has nothing on you and she means nothing to me. You are all I need

She kissed her and when she pulled away Nicki looked away from her

Jhené: babe??

Nicki sighed and walked over to the bed and sat down.

Jhené: Just… Promise me you won’t do anything crazy

Nicked looked up at her and she walked over to where she was seated and knelt between her legs. She kissed her again

Jhené: Please *pecks lips*

Nicki: ok.

They kissed again.

Jhené: and as soon as we get back I’m taking you to hospital with your hand.

Nicki rested her forehead against hers after kissing her.

“I Love you” she said in her mind as she closed her eyes.

**

When he got back to the cabin everybody he knew immediately that the rest of the day was not going to go well. When he walked in it was Lauren and Terrence in the living room. She rolled her eyes at him.

SB: are you guys ready to leave?

She didn’t respond she just got up and head to the room.

Terrence: yeah I should think we’re all set to leave. You good bro?

SB: I’m aight. Where’s everybody else?

Terrence: bedrooms. Most the bags are already out except the one you brought up and Lauren’s and mine. Nicki is gonna take my truck so Lauren and I are riding with you.

SB: so why… *chuckles and shakes head*.

He walked towards their bedroom and opened the door but the room was empty. He grabbed his stuff and threw them into his bag, zipped it and walked out. On his way out he told Terrence he’d be in the truck.  Nicki, Jhené and Tay rode in Terrence’s range, while Candi, TT and the baby were in TT’s.

When they got home everybody went back to Nicki’s. She took her stuff inside and switched vehicles so she could drop Jhené and Tay home. She didn’t bother paying much attention to Safaree and so she didn’t see when he left. The only one he told he was leaving and where he was going was Lauren. She tried getting him to stay but he had made his mind up and the only person who could maybe get him to stay is the one person who he felt had no interest in him at the moment.