Saturday, 23 March 2013
Chapter 30 --> Get Away
As she opened the front door Lauren stepped past her.
Lauren: what the fuck Nicki?
Nicki: as you can see my door is still open so if you're coming in here with that bullshit about why I shouldn't have told Safaree you can leave. I've heard enough of it.
Lauren: Nicki come on
Nicki: Laur he deserved to know
Lauren: and I'm not arguing with you on that. I wanted to tell him myself but I didnt cause it wasnt my place it wasnt for me to do.
Nicki slammed th front door and head for the stairs
Lauren: I got a call today from his sister. Shanell had the abortion.
She stopped in her place on the stairs. She truly felt hurt for him. She knew that's something that will rip him apart and she just stood there for a while before she took another step. Lauren called to her and she stopped again
Nicki: what Laur?
Lauren: Go see him. Talk to him. he needs... a friend.
Nicki: so why don't you go see him
Lauren: you know he's not gonna want to see me.
Nicki: Ha! and you think he's gonna want to see me?!
Lauren: will you at least try
She asked looking up at her best-friend.
Nicki: lock the door on your way out
She responded and turned continuing up the stairs. Lauren sighed as she turned to leave.
When Jhené got home Nicki in the living room writing. She had her headphones over her ear listening to a beat as she wrote in her notebook. She closed the door, put her bag by the stairs and walked over to her. She gave her a kiss on the forehead
Jhené: hey baby
She said then head for the kitchen. Nicki had totally ignored her but she knew that's how she was when she was writing. It wasnt until after she had ate showered and was laying in bed that she actual felt like something was wrong she walked down to the living room to where she was sitting before but she was no longer there. She walked around looking for her but didnt find her anywhere. She was in the kitchen and notice the glass doors that lead out to the back were open. She walked out and noticed her sitting on one of the lounge chairs out by the pool. She walked out to her with her arms crossed. Nicki had her eyes closed
Jhené: are you ok?
Nicki: yeah I'm good
Jhené: you gonna come inside
Nicki: yea in a bit
Jhené rolled her eyes and went back inside. She knew her behavior had to do with this whole Safaree Shanell issue.
Nicki came to bed about an hour after Jhené had spoken to her downstairs. She walked in layed down and turned her back to Jhené.
Jhené: You know Im getting tired of you moping around about him
Nicki: what??
She said turning around
Nicki: Im not moping over Safaree!
Jhené: then what the fuck do you call it?!
She yelled. She looked away and took a deep breath
Jhené: ever since you heard he was dating Shanell your whole attitude changed. You find out she's pregnant and things take a turn for the worst. If you're so over him Nicki, why does every fucking thing he does affect you like this? You don't even seem to realize that it's affecting our relationship. It's like you still see him as yours.
Nicki closed her eyes and rested her forearm, over her face
Jhené: you do, dont you??
Nicki: Babe I-
Jhené: I'll be in the guest room
She said cutting Nicki off, getting up and storming out.
Nicki: FUCK!!
She said hitting the bed as her tears ran down her cheek. After crying for what seemed like over an hour she pulled her self together. She got up went to the bathroom and washed her face. She pat her face dry and stood looking at her self in the mirror. She took a deep breath then walked out the bathroom to go find Jhené.
When she got to the guest bedroom the overhead light was off and she had candles lit around the room. Vanilla scented candles. Jhené was on her back at the foot of the bed blowing smoke from her mouth, a lit cigar in her hand hanging off the bed above an ash tray that was placed on the floor. Nicki walked over and took the cigar from between her fingers then crushed it in the ash tray. She straddled her hips and pinned her hands above her head Jhené turned her head to the side.
Nicki: you don't smoke... look at me
she said with a hoarse voice. Jhené sighed then turned to look up at her
Nicki: I'm over him. I see him as a friend nothing more ok
She didnt respond
Nicki: ok?
Jhené: ok
Nicki: It's just... *sigh* with everything that happened with my mom I just... Im tired. I want everything to be ok.
She said tearing up again
Nicki: Yeah I havnt been ok with Safaree being with Shanell but only because he's my best friend and I do care about him. I dont think she's th right girl for him.
Jhené: but baby that's not your decision to make. He has to be able to choose who he wants to be with.
Nicki: I know that.... The fact that she found out she was pregnant and aborted his baby just makes it all worst. I just, I know he's hurting.
Jhené: and Im not saying you can't care or feel for him in that aspect but not to the point where I feel like Im just going through my day with you here but not really here.
Nicki: I really am sorry baby. Promise I'll change my attitude.
She said as she bent and kissed her.
Nicki: I love you
She said in a soft voice
Jhené: I love you too you know that
Nicki: but...
Jhené: but nothing.
Nicki: you still dont think I'm being completely honest about my feelings...
Jhené just looked at her
Nicki: baby I dont play games when it comes to my feeling. Yes I love Safaree, he's my best friend always will be. I told you that before, but that's it. Who's arms do I go to bed in at nights? Who's arms do I wake up in in the mornings? Who is it that I can't sleep without? I only want you. Just you.
Jhené ran her finger across Nicki's lips and she kissed them. She then pulled her in for a kiss. They stayed cuddled with each other for the whole night. Jhené didn't close her eyes one bit. She stayed watching Nicki sleep as she stroked her hair.
****
Neeqa: Safaree
Shaneeqa called outside his bedroom door but he didnt answer. it had been a week and he hadnt come out, not even to eat and if he did eat it was when she wasnt around.
Neeqa: Safaree!! *sigh* you can't stay in there forever
She said again before walking off. She had to get to work . Later when she got home his door was open but he wasnt home. She tried his phone but got his voice mail. She tried Lauren, Candi all the Vaks but no one had seen him. She tried their mom but she hadnt seen him either. She tried Nicki but she didnt answer her phone so she left a message. Later she got a text back to let her know she hadnt seen him. She went through stuff in his room for a clue as to where he could have gone but there was nothing. His car keys were on the bedside table but his clothes, shoes and jewellery were gone. She tried his phone one more time but it still went straight to voice mail. He had left without telling her a word.
****
Candi: hey girlie I missed you.
She said as she hugged Nicki. They meeting up to have lunch then head back to Nicki's place.
Nicki: I missed you more
Candi: so where'd you say wifey had to go?
Nicki: Italy with her dad for some business *sad face*
Candi: awwwee for how long
Nicki: a whole fucking week. Ima go crazy! Anyway enough about me. What's been going on with you? How'd you sort out th whole Tay and JB issue? Where is she by the way?
Candi: sorting out school stuff. JB and I are just fine. He... asked me to choose. It was either him or Tay, which just wasnt fair but I didnt wanna lose him so...
Nicki: So you and Tay broke up?
Candi: as far as he knows we are but-
Nicki: plainly put you never broke iit off with her and you're still fucking her behind his back
Candi: *covers face* i know its wrong I just can't stop. Im fucking addicted to her
Nicki: oh My g *laughs* What if he finds out?
Candi: He wont. Just make sure you dont say nothing. Now have you heard from Safaree?
Nicki: How you just gon change th subject? *shakes head* No I haven't. Have you?
Candi: no. I tried calling him, his phone doesnt work anymore. He changed the number or something.
Nicki: oh?... and no one's seen him still? Not even the Vaks?
Candi: not even his mother. Yo Shanell was so wrong for what she did though, on so many levels.
Nicki: I dont even wanna talk about her righth now to be quite fucking honest.
She took a sip of her pineapple juice and ate the last bit from her plate.
Candi: I just hope he doesnt go do anything stupid we all know his brain doesnt function the right way when he's upset.
When they got back to the house it was after four she went to change into something more comfy, grabbed her mac book and plopped down on the couch, Candi had gone to shower. She was just about to log in to twitter when she got a skype call from Jhené she was all smiles.
Nicki: arent youo suppose to be sleeping right now?
Jhené: oh so u dont wanna talk to me
Nicki: *giggles* of course I do baby
Jhené: how was ur day?
Nicki: * licks lips* was good.*licks lips again*
Jhené: *smiles* You miss me
Nicki: like you cant fucking imagine
She said biting her bottom lip
Jhené: I miss you too. Couldnt concentrate in my meeting today cause all i could think about was you.
Nicki: awe *smiles*
Jhené: It's so beautiful out here. I need to come back. Just me and you though
Nicki: Yaay I'd love that.
Jhené: *giggles* you home alone?
Nicki: Candi is here. she's upstairs though
Jhené: ok I want u to go up to ur room, lock the door and call me back.
Nicki: *laughs* ok freak
Candi was in the kitchen making a snack when Nicki walked in smiling
Candi: Oh yall naaaaaaaaaasty
Nicki burst into her little obnoxious laugh
Nicki: say that one mo time see if i dont put you out. why would you even be at my door listening?
Candi: Im nosy
She said and laughed as she bit into her sandwich
Candi: k what we gon do for the night?
she said while chewing
Nicki: watch scary movies
Candi: ha! you not bout to sleep beside me tonight! talkin bout watch scary movies
Nicki: this my house I sleep where I wanna!
She responded popping her on the forehead before running out the kitchen.
****
He stood looking out at his view.
He had no choice he needed to get away. he needed space, needed to think. What had he done to her for her to do something so cruel and unjust to him. He had done nothing but love her for the short period they were together. How could she abort his baby? He sat as his eyes began to get blurry with tears again and he closed them letting them run down his cheeks. She had killed something in him and as he sat thinking about what she had done he began to break down again.
Lauren: what the fuck Nicki?
Nicki: as you can see my door is still open so if you're coming in here with that bullshit about why I shouldn't have told Safaree you can leave. I've heard enough of it.
Lauren: Nicki come on
Nicki: Laur he deserved to know
Lauren: and I'm not arguing with you on that. I wanted to tell him myself but I didnt cause it wasnt my place it wasnt for me to do.
Nicki slammed th front door and head for the stairs
Lauren: I got a call today from his sister. Shanell had the abortion.
She stopped in her place on the stairs. She truly felt hurt for him. She knew that's something that will rip him apart and she just stood there for a while before she took another step. Lauren called to her and she stopped again
Nicki: what Laur?
Lauren: Go see him. Talk to him. he needs... a friend.
Nicki: so why don't you go see him
Lauren: you know he's not gonna want to see me.
Nicki: Ha! and you think he's gonna want to see me?!
Lauren: will you at least try
She asked looking up at her best-friend.
Nicki: lock the door on your way out
She responded and turned continuing up the stairs. Lauren sighed as she turned to leave.
When Jhené got home Nicki in the living room writing. She had her headphones over her ear listening to a beat as she wrote in her notebook. She closed the door, put her bag by the stairs and walked over to her. She gave her a kiss on the forehead
Jhené: hey baby
She said then head for the kitchen. Nicki had totally ignored her but she knew that's how she was when she was writing. It wasnt until after she had ate showered and was laying in bed that she actual felt like something was wrong she walked down to the living room to where she was sitting before but she was no longer there. She walked around looking for her but didnt find her anywhere. She was in the kitchen and notice the glass doors that lead out to the back were open. She walked out and noticed her sitting on one of the lounge chairs out by the pool. She walked out to her with her arms crossed. Nicki had her eyes closed
Jhené: are you ok?
Nicki: yeah I'm good
Jhené: you gonna come inside
Nicki: yea in a bit
Jhené rolled her eyes and went back inside. She knew her behavior had to do with this whole Safaree Shanell issue.
Nicki came to bed about an hour after Jhené had spoken to her downstairs. She walked in layed down and turned her back to Jhené.
Jhené: You know Im getting tired of you moping around about him
Nicki: what??
She said turning around
Nicki: Im not moping over Safaree!
Jhené: then what the fuck do you call it?!
She yelled. She looked away and took a deep breath
Jhené: ever since you heard he was dating Shanell your whole attitude changed. You find out she's pregnant and things take a turn for the worst. If you're so over him Nicki, why does every fucking thing he does affect you like this? You don't even seem to realize that it's affecting our relationship. It's like you still see him as yours.
Nicki closed her eyes and rested her forearm, over her face
Jhené: you do, dont you??
Nicki: Babe I-
Jhené: I'll be in the guest room
She said cutting Nicki off, getting up and storming out.
Nicki: FUCK!!
She said hitting the bed as her tears ran down her cheek. After crying for what seemed like over an hour she pulled her self together. She got up went to the bathroom and washed her face. She pat her face dry and stood looking at her self in the mirror. She took a deep breath then walked out the bathroom to go find Jhené.
When she got to the guest bedroom the overhead light was off and she had candles lit around the room. Vanilla scented candles. Jhené was on her back at the foot of the bed blowing smoke from her mouth, a lit cigar in her hand hanging off the bed above an ash tray that was placed on the floor. Nicki walked over and took the cigar from between her fingers then crushed it in the ash tray. She straddled her hips and pinned her hands above her head Jhené turned her head to the side.
Nicki: you don't smoke... look at me
she said with a hoarse voice. Jhené sighed then turned to look up at her
Nicki: I'm over him. I see him as a friend nothing more ok
She didnt respond
Nicki: ok?
Jhené: ok
Nicki: It's just... *sigh* with everything that happened with my mom I just... Im tired. I want everything to be ok.
She said tearing up again
Nicki: Yeah I havnt been ok with Safaree being with Shanell but only because he's my best friend and I do care about him. I dont think she's th right girl for him.
Jhené: but baby that's not your decision to make. He has to be able to choose who he wants to be with.
Nicki: I know that.... The fact that she found out she was pregnant and aborted his baby just makes it all worst. I just, I know he's hurting.
Jhené: and Im not saying you can't care or feel for him in that aspect but not to the point where I feel like Im just going through my day with you here but not really here.
Nicki: I really am sorry baby. Promise I'll change my attitude.
She said as she bent and kissed her.
Nicki: I love you
She said in a soft voice
Jhené: I love you too you know that
Nicki: but...
Jhené: but nothing.
Nicki: you still dont think I'm being completely honest about my feelings...
Jhené just looked at her
Nicki: baby I dont play games when it comes to my feeling. Yes I love Safaree, he's my best friend always will be. I told you that before, but that's it. Who's arms do I go to bed in at nights? Who's arms do I wake up in in the mornings? Who is it that I can't sleep without? I only want you. Just you.
Jhené ran her finger across Nicki's lips and she kissed them. She then pulled her in for a kiss. They stayed cuddled with each other for the whole night. Jhené didn't close her eyes one bit. She stayed watching Nicki sleep as she stroked her hair.
****
Neeqa: Safaree
Shaneeqa called outside his bedroom door but he didnt answer. it had been a week and he hadnt come out, not even to eat and if he did eat it was when she wasnt around.
Neeqa: Safaree!! *sigh* you can't stay in there forever
She said again before walking off. She had to get to work . Later when she got home his door was open but he wasnt home. She tried his phone but got his voice mail. She tried Lauren, Candi all the Vaks but no one had seen him. She tried their mom but she hadnt seen him either. She tried Nicki but she didnt answer her phone so she left a message. Later she got a text back to let her know she hadnt seen him. She went through stuff in his room for a clue as to where he could have gone but there was nothing. His car keys were on the bedside table but his clothes, shoes and jewellery were gone. She tried his phone one more time but it still went straight to voice mail. He had left without telling her a word.
****
Candi: hey girlie I missed you.
She said as she hugged Nicki. They meeting up to have lunch then head back to Nicki's place.
Nicki: I missed you more
Candi: so where'd you say wifey had to go?
Nicki: Italy with her dad for some business *sad face*
Candi: awwwee for how long
Nicki: a whole fucking week. Ima go crazy! Anyway enough about me. What's been going on with you? How'd you sort out th whole Tay and JB issue? Where is she by the way?
Candi: sorting out school stuff. JB and I are just fine. He... asked me to choose. It was either him or Tay, which just wasnt fair but I didnt wanna lose him so...
Nicki: So you and Tay broke up?
Candi: as far as he knows we are but-
Nicki: plainly put you never broke iit off with her and you're still fucking her behind his back
Candi: *covers face* i know its wrong I just can't stop. Im fucking addicted to her
Nicki: oh My g *laughs* What if he finds out?
Candi: He wont. Just make sure you dont say nothing. Now have you heard from Safaree?
Nicki: How you just gon change th subject? *shakes head* No I haven't. Have you?
Candi: no. I tried calling him, his phone doesnt work anymore. He changed the number or something.
Nicki: oh?... and no one's seen him still? Not even the Vaks?
Candi: not even his mother. Yo Shanell was so wrong for what she did though, on so many levels.
Nicki: I dont even wanna talk about her righth now to be quite fucking honest.
She took a sip of her pineapple juice and ate the last bit from her plate.
Candi: I just hope he doesnt go do anything stupid we all know his brain doesnt function the right way when he's upset.
When they got back to the house it was after four she went to change into something more comfy, grabbed her mac book and plopped down on the couch, Candi had gone to shower. She was just about to log in to twitter when she got a skype call from Jhené she was all smiles.
Nicki: arent youo suppose to be sleeping right now?
Jhené: oh so u dont wanna talk to me
Nicki: *giggles* of course I do baby
Jhené: how was ur day?
Nicki: * licks lips* was good.*licks lips again*
Jhené: *smiles* You miss me
Nicki: like you cant fucking imagine
She said biting her bottom lip
Jhené: I miss you too. Couldnt concentrate in my meeting today cause all i could think about was you.
Nicki: awe *smiles*
Jhené: It's so beautiful out here. I need to come back. Just me and you though
Nicki: Yaay I'd love that.
Jhené: *giggles* you home alone?
Nicki: Candi is here. she's upstairs though
Jhené: ok I want u to go up to ur room, lock the door and call me back.
Nicki: *laughs* ok freak
Candi was in the kitchen making a snack when Nicki walked in smiling
Candi: Oh yall naaaaaaaaaasty
Nicki burst into her little obnoxious laugh
Nicki: say that one mo time see if i dont put you out. why would you even be at my door listening?
Candi: Im nosy
She said and laughed as she bit into her sandwich
Candi: k what we gon do for the night?
she said while chewing
Nicki: watch scary movies
Candi: ha! you not bout to sleep beside me tonight! talkin bout watch scary movies
Nicki: this my house I sleep where I wanna!
She responded popping her on the forehead before running out the kitchen.
****
He stood looking out at his view.
Thursday, 14 March 2013
Snip! Snip!
Jhené: ever since you heard he was dating Shanell your whole attitude changed. You find out she's pregnant and things take a turn for the worst. If you're so over him Nicki, why does every fucking thing he does affect you like this? You don't even seem to realize that it's affecting our relationship. It's like you still see him as yours.
Nicki closed her eyes and rested her forearm, over her face
Jhené: you do, dont you??
Nicki: Babe I-
Jhené: I'll be in the guest room
She said cutting Nicki off, getting up and storming out.
Nicki: FUCK!!
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
#TimeMachine1
Aaria
"Riri Grandma is going to be mad at me for those earrings" "they were big *smiles*" "yes they were" "I love my new pictures mommy" "do you wanna get them put in your room?" "yeeeeeeesss! and I wanna give everybody one" "remember we can only give a few people" "otay. Mommy may I have pizza for dinner?" "okay baby". They stopped by pizza hut and her mom bought her a small pizza with all the toppings she wanted; extra cheese, pineapples and pepperoni. Her mom took the first slice and she ate one while her mom drove. She was careful not to make a mess. They stopped at the supermarket so she could get snacks for Riri and regular grocery for the house. She put her shades and hat on before getting out and letting riri out from the back. Riri pulled the big bottle of laundry detergent to the cart "you're getting so strong" "yeah, look mommy I have muscles" "*gigggles* yes you do baby" "ok let's go get you cereal and we are ready to go".
By the time they got home Riri had three slices of pizza and a small bottle of Dasani and had fallen asleep in her booster seat. Her mom took her out first and brought her to the master bedroom then went back down to get the groceries from the car. When she was done she made sure all the doors were locked then went upstairs. She stripped Riri down to underwear, got her rag and cleaned up her face and hands and put on one of her Nicki t-shirts. She then changed into a T-shirt herself and climbed into bed pulling her baby girl close. "Is this what I almost gave up?" she asked just before she too fell asleep.
Monday, 4 March 2013
Chapter 29 --> How To Break A Man
Kept y'all waiting forever for this chapter I know y'all are gonna tell me is short -__-. Been REALLY busy sorry. I love y'all and I do hope you enjoy my short chapter. Excuse any misspellings or other typo's. I'm tired.
Nicki tried calling her again and as the phone rang Jhené looked at the screen and put it back down. Terrence's eyes met hers in the mirror
Terrence: J... just answer her
She sighed and caught the phone before it stopped ringing.
Jhené: yeah
Nicki: where are you?
Jhené: did you eat?
Nicki: no. where are you?
Jhené: baby you need to eat.
Nicki: you need to tell me where you are
Jhené: T's room getting my hair done
She heard Nicki sigh
Nicki: oh...
Jhené: I'll be done in a few
Nicki: ok
When Terrence finished her hair she thanked him and took her time getting back to the suite she shared with Nicki. As she opened the door she saw her standing by the window talking on the phone. She turned around to her as she closed the door and ended the call. Nicki didn't say word to her.
Jhené: did you need me for something?
She didnt answer.
Jhené: so it's ok to speak to me over the phone but you can't speak to me face to face? *sigh* fine text or call me when you're ready to say what's on your mind.
Nicki still didnt say anything to her until she was in the car on the way to rehearsal.
Nicki: did she try to hurt you in anyway?
She asked while looking out the window.
Jhené: no babe like I said before
Nicki: did she try to kiss you?
Jhené: *sigh* no
Nicki: did you feel anything at all for her while you were there?
Jhené: hell no! I didn't!
Nicki looked at her
Nicki: you could have told me you were going to see her
Jhené: like you could have told me you have a private investigator on her. You would not have wanted me to go or you would have wanted me to come with me. We both know how that would've turned out.
Nicki rolled her eyes
Nicki: why did you leave before I woke up?
Jhené: I didnt wanna wake you, you need the rest and I knew Terrence would be busy later.
She turned her head away looking through the window. They were almost there.
Jhené: I feel like it's more to this behavior and you're not telling me but I'm here when you're ready to talk.
She said as the car came to a stop.
The crowd was live she seemed to have a lot of fun on stage but as soon as she got off it was back to her bad mood. She had told Terrence and Lauren to make sure everything was packed to go before her set knowing she'd want to leave immediately after the show. So they went ahead of her as they walked back to her dressing room and got the bags taking them to the cars. Her body guards stood by the back exit. She had stopped in the hallway to take her heels off when she heard his voice say her name
SB: Nicki
She turned around
SB: may I speak to you for a minute
Nicki: *folds arms* go ahead.
SB: in private? please?
She looked over at Jhené who bent and took her shoes up and head for the dressing room door she came back out with hers and Nicki's bags and dropped her hello kitty slippers for her to put on.
Jhené: I'll be in the car.
Nicki: Just wait out here. *takes her bag* I'ma change when I'm done.
She opened the dressing room door and dropped her bag on the couch as he closed the door. Jhené want down to stand by the exit so she wouldn't hear what they were talking about. She was scared she'd hear something that would leave her hurting.
SB: you were great up there
Nicki: Thanks
SB: How have you been?
Nicki: fine Safaree. Just perfect. You?
SB: I'm good. Been better... Nic there's something I need to speak to you about?
Nicki: what's that? oh.... wait... If you're gonna tell me you're fucking Shanell I already know just a heads up so you dont waste you're time. Annnnd if you were thinking I was gonna care, I DONT.
SB: should have known Lauren would tell you.
Nicki: Even though she did say it too me I had already known so don't go blaming her. Is that all? cause I need to change.
SB: I didn't even come to... you know what, just forget it *shakes head* Bye Nicki
Nicki: Bye... Oh and congrats daddy.
He stopped in the doorway and turned looking at her
SB: What did you just say?
Nicki: Bye Safaree
SB: No be straight with me Onika... Are you pregnant?
Nicki: Safaree leave or I'm calling security
SB: Nic??
Nicki: I SAID LEAVE!!
He shook his head looking at her at he walked backwards out the door. He looked at Jhené chest heaving before he walked out.
****
Jhené walked out the bathroom into the bedroom and saw her across the bottom of the bed staring at the ceiling. She walked over and crawled between her legs then kissed her.
Jhené: you ready to tell me what's really going on?
Nicki took a deep breath and closed her eyes before speaking
Nicki: she's pregnant
she said opening her eyes again and looking up at Jhené
Jhené: who's pregnant?
Nicki: Shanell, the girl he was with at the show tonight
Jhené: for him?
Nicki: yup
she said looking away
Jhené: is that what he wanted to talk to you about?
Nicki: No. He doesnt know she is and she's aborting it.
Jhené: What?!!
(same time)
He had been sitting on the couch staring at the blank tv since they got back to her place. She walked out the bedroom clad in her robe and went to sit by him.
Shanell: *pouts* are you ok babe?
She asked rubbing his back in small circles
SB: She's pregnant
Shanell froze.
SB: she's pregnant and she didnt tell me
He ran his hand over his face and Shanell slowly pulled her hand away from him. Her mind was going a mile a minute. She had feared losing him back to her before but now she was absolutely terrified. He was still speaking to her but she heard nothing of what he said. All she could think about was that fact that not only was she carrying his child but so was Nicki. His voice calling her pulled her from her thoughts.
SB: baby are you ok?
All she did was shake her head yes slowly without even looking over at him.
SB: I'm gonna go out for a little bit ok
Shanell: ok
She managed to get out. He kissed her forehead and ran his fingers over her cheek before he left. He knew Nicki wouldn't see him again so he needed to go see his sister.
**
They were getting dressed to go see Mama Carol when Nicki's phone rang. She answered without looking at the caller ID
Nicki: hello
Neeqa: we need to talk
Nicki: what about?
Neeqa: you'll find out when I get up to your suite.
She said and hung up. Nicki just put the phone back down and continued getting dressed. A good few minutes later she was putting a few things in her bag when Jhené walked back in.
Jhené: you have a visitor
She said with a hint of attitude and Neeqa rolled her eyes and walked past her over to Nicki;
Neeqa: when were you gonna tell him? Is that the reason you've been dressing this way lately? loose fitting tops, performing in flats? and oh what a glow your skin has.
Nicki: what are you talking about?
Neeqa: just stop!! You know exactly what I'm talking about Nicki. What you expect him to just stand aside, let you do whatever you please like this isnt his child growing inside of you.
Jhené's eyed Nicki with curiosity as she burst out laughing
Nicki: girl you really need to leave. If that is seriously what you came here to get on my case about. You need to go.
She said while laughing
Neeqa: oh it's a joke to you
Nicki: you fucking right it's a joke. That's why I'm laughing.
Shaneeqa just shook her head at her then turned and left. When she was out the door Jhené came back nd stood in the doorway arms folded across her chest looking at her sitting on the bed
Jhené: you told him you're pregnant?
She looked around at Jhené
Nicki: no... he assumed
Jhené: Why didnt you correct him?
Nicki: Idk.. I wasnt thinking.
Jhené: You weren't thinking... *chuckles* ok Onika. Are you ready to go?
She said a hint of anger in her voice
Nicki: I'm sor-
Jhené: Let's just go.. please
She said taking her bag up and heading for the door.
**
They were walking up the driveway when the front door flew open and Macaiah came running out.
Nicki: Whoa!! Hey lambchop!! i missed you!! *big smile*
Caiah:" I missed you too sis!
He kissed her cheek then pulled away and went to hug Jhené
Nicki: You cutting my hugs short now boy
Caiah: Nic you aren't the only one I have to hug
Nicki: Jhen don't want your hugs
Caiah: dead at you thinking you're the only one she loves
Nicki: Oh... Oop! Well excuse me. Where's mama at?
They all laughed
Caiah: making lunch
He said as they walked in the front door.
Nicki: ooh spaghetti I bet
She said running off to the kitchen
Caiah: Aint you feeding her?
He asked Jhené
Jhené: of course I am. But you know how you're sister is
Caiah: wait.. whoa!! pauz!! Double pauz!! never mind forget I even asked
he said walking towards the kitchen leaving her. Jhené's jaw dropped as she realized what he was getting at. When they got to the kitchen Nicki was standing by the sink talking to her mom. She stopped talking as soon as Jhené walked in
Jhené: Mrs Maraj *smiles*
Carol: hello, how have you been?
Jhené: I've been good. You?
Carol: I've been better
Nicki eyed her mother. Carol smiled at Jhené
Carol: are you ladies going to eat?
Nicki: yes mom. you hungry babe?
She asked Jhené and Carol's facial expression changed as the words left Nicki's lips.
Jhené: Not really but I'll have some of her famous spaghetti.
Nicki: It tastes just like mine
Jhené: I doubt it! She taught you! *giggles*
Carol: That's right and yours will never taste better than mine ms thing.
She said with a little giggle as she made them plates. Caiah sat between the too at the table eating. While they were eating the doorbell rang and Carol left them to go see who it was. It was when they were finishing up the dishes that Carol walked back in and asked to speak with Nicki. Jhené stayed with Caiah as she walked out behind her mother to the living room. Nicki froze when she walked in and saw Safaree sitting on her mother's couch.
Carol: Is there something you want to tell me Onika?
Nicki: a-about what?
She asked and stuttered as her eyes shifted from Safaree's to her mom's. Carol folded her arms and Nicki took a deep breath.
Nicki: whatever he told you, It's a lie
She looked at him a rolled her eyes
Carol: and why would he just blatantly come here to lie to me Nicki?
Nicki: because he wants attention *sucks teeth*. Safaree why are you here?
Carol: I know you did not just hiss at me
Nicki: no ma I didn't
She said unfolding her arms.
Carol: are you pregnant?
She didnt respond. Carol walked over to her and stood looking into her eyes
Carol: are you pregnant?
Nicki: how old am I 16?
Carol: dont get smart with me answer the question.
Nicki: I'm not pregnant. You of all people would have known if I was
Carol: or maybe I wouldnt cause lately I've been finding hard to see the daughter I raised.
Nicki: mom...
Carol turned around to Safaree and he stood up
SB: she's lying
he said in a soft but angry voice
Nicki: the fuck!!
Carol spun around and faced her daughter
Nicki: No Im sorry mom but how's he just gonna stand there and say that?
SB: Because you are!! You told me!! You know better than to play with me about something like this Nicki!! Gaahh!!! why are you doing this?! What you think you're gonna keep me away from my kid so you can raise him with Jhené?!
Nicki: FIRST OF ALL I DIDNT TELL YOU SHIT!! YOU ASSUMED!!! SECONDLY, I'M NOT FUCKING PREGNANT SAFAREE!!!
SB: JUST STOP LYING!!!
She bit her lip to stop herself from telling him the paragraph of bad words she wanted to throw his way and took a deep breath.
Nicki: For the last.. fucking.. time. I'm NOT pregnant.
SB: you...
Nicki: Shanell is.
A deathly silence fell over the room. Jhené had heard the commotion and walked in to see what was going on, Caiah was right behind her. Nicki turned towards the kitchen doorway
Nicki: we're leaving.
She walked over to her little brother, hugged and kissed him. She walked over to her mom
Nicki: I'm sorry for all of this I really am and I'm sorry that you dont see who you wanna see in me anymore when really nothings changed but the gender of the person that I love.
She said tearing up. She hugged her mom then walked out the front door.
Carol: Onika...
She called softly but said no more as her daughter disappeared out the door.
Jhené: I'm sorry. It was great seeing you again.
She gave Carol a hug and left. Safaree still hadn't said another word or stopped looking at the wall
Carol: are you ok?
She asked but he didnt hear her.
****
He couldn't face her, so he stayed away for a few weeks or what seemed like a few weeks. He didnt come out unless it was to eat he didnt go anywhere he didnt speak to anyone except Shaneeqa and when he did, it was no more than 2 or 3 words a day. he didnt call Shanell, didnt text her. All this time, she'd been hiding something this important from him. When he finally decided to see her, he got to her place and she wasnt there. He called her phone but got no answered so he decided to sit in his car and wait for her to come back. He waited until he fell sleep. When he woke up it was after 6 the next morning. Her car still wasnt in the driveway and he reached onto the passenger seat for his phone to call her number a few more times. It was on the sixth call and second ring that he got answer from a very sleepy voice.
D: hello
SB: hello
D: how may I help you
SB: Shanell?
D: no. she's sleeping. can i take a message?
SB: just tell her to call Safaree
D: sure
She said and hung up. He took a deep breath, took his hat off and ran his hand over his head. All day he waited for her phone call and got none. 9:30pm and he was sitting in the living room staring at his phone that sat on the coffee table. When he couldn't wait anymore he grabbed it and dialed her number. She asnwered on the fourth ring
Shanell: what do you want?
SB: Is that how you great the father of your unborn child? Where are you?
She fell silent over the phone
SB: you didnt think that it was important enough to tell me you were pregnant?
She still didnt answer
SB: ANSWER ME!!
He yelled and he heard her gasp.
SB: Where are you?
Shanell: You dont need me Safaree you have her and her baby.
He sighed
SB: She's not pregnant... Look where are you I need to see you.
Shanell: Faree I cant... It's been a month and two days since I've heard from you, seen you. All this time you were worried about her. You would never choose me over her. I had to make choices that were best suitable for me and my career.
SB: What kinda choices Shanell? Not telling me you are carrying my child? Running off to stay with your sister?
Shanell: was... carrying your child.
SB: Wh-what the Fuck did you just say?!
Shanell: I'm sorry Faree.
She said before she hung up.
SB: NO!! NO!
He yelled over and over again as he smashed the glass on the coffee table and threw his phone at the wall. His chest tightened as he fell to his knees crying.
Po Faree :(!! LEAVE A COMMENT!!
Nicki tried calling her again and as the phone rang Jhené looked at the screen and put it back down. Terrence's eyes met hers in the mirror
Terrence: J... just answer her
She sighed and caught the phone before it stopped ringing.
Jhené: yeah
Nicki: where are you?
Jhené: did you eat?
Nicki: no. where are you?
Jhené: baby you need to eat.
Nicki: you need to tell me where you are
Jhené: T's room getting my hair done
She heard Nicki sigh
Nicki: oh...
Jhené: I'll be done in a few
Nicki: ok
When Terrence finished her hair she thanked him and took her time getting back to the suite she shared with Nicki. As she opened the door she saw her standing by the window talking on the phone. She turned around to her as she closed the door and ended the call. Nicki didn't say word to her.
Jhené: did you need me for something?
She didnt answer.
Jhené: so it's ok to speak to me over the phone but you can't speak to me face to face? *sigh* fine text or call me when you're ready to say what's on your mind.
Nicki still didnt say anything to her until she was in the car on the way to rehearsal.
Nicki: did she try to hurt you in anyway?
She asked while looking out the window.
Jhené: no babe like I said before
Nicki: did she try to kiss you?
Jhené: *sigh* no
Nicki: did you feel anything at all for her while you were there?
Jhené: hell no! I didn't!
Nicki looked at her
Nicki: you could have told me you were going to see her
Jhené: like you could have told me you have a private investigator on her. You would not have wanted me to go or you would have wanted me to come with me. We both know how that would've turned out.
Nicki rolled her eyes
Nicki: why did you leave before I woke up?
Jhené: I didnt wanna wake you, you need the rest and I knew Terrence would be busy later.
She turned her head away looking through the window. They were almost there.
Jhené: I feel like it's more to this behavior and you're not telling me but I'm here when you're ready to talk.
She said as the car came to a stop.
The crowd was live she seemed to have a lot of fun on stage but as soon as she got off it was back to her bad mood. She had told Terrence and Lauren to make sure everything was packed to go before her set knowing she'd want to leave immediately after the show. So they went ahead of her as they walked back to her dressing room and got the bags taking them to the cars. Her body guards stood by the back exit. She had stopped in the hallway to take her heels off when she heard his voice say her name
SB: Nicki
She turned around
SB: may I speak to you for a minute
Nicki: *folds arms* go ahead.
SB: in private? please?
She looked over at Jhené who bent and took her shoes up and head for the dressing room door she came back out with hers and Nicki's bags and dropped her hello kitty slippers for her to put on.
Jhené: I'll be in the car.
Nicki: Just wait out here. *takes her bag* I'ma change when I'm done.
She opened the dressing room door and dropped her bag on the couch as he closed the door. Jhené want down to stand by the exit so she wouldn't hear what they were talking about. She was scared she'd hear something that would leave her hurting.
SB: you were great up there
Nicki: Thanks
SB: How have you been?
Nicki: fine Safaree. Just perfect. You?
SB: I'm good. Been better... Nic there's something I need to speak to you about?
Nicki: what's that? oh.... wait... If you're gonna tell me you're fucking Shanell I already know just a heads up so you dont waste you're time. Annnnd if you were thinking I was gonna care, I DONT.
SB: should have known Lauren would tell you.
Nicki: Even though she did say it too me I had already known so don't go blaming her. Is that all? cause I need to change.
SB: I didn't even come to... you know what, just forget it *shakes head* Bye Nicki
Nicki: Bye... Oh and congrats daddy.
He stopped in the doorway and turned looking at her
SB: What did you just say?
Nicki: Bye Safaree
SB: No be straight with me Onika... Are you pregnant?
Nicki: Safaree leave or I'm calling security
SB: Nic??
Nicki: I SAID LEAVE!!
He shook his head looking at her at he walked backwards out the door. He looked at Jhené chest heaving before he walked out.
****
Jhené walked out the bathroom into the bedroom and saw her across the bottom of the bed staring at the ceiling. She walked over and crawled between her legs then kissed her.
Jhené: you ready to tell me what's really going on?
Nicki took a deep breath and closed her eyes before speaking
Nicki: she's pregnant
she said opening her eyes again and looking up at Jhené
Jhené: who's pregnant?
Nicki: Shanell, the girl he was with at the show tonight
Jhené: for him?
Nicki: yup
she said looking away
Jhené: is that what he wanted to talk to you about?
Nicki: No. He doesnt know she is and she's aborting it.
Jhené: What?!!
(same time)
He had been sitting on the couch staring at the blank tv since they got back to her place. She walked out the bedroom clad in her robe and went to sit by him.
Shanell: *pouts* are you ok babe?
She asked rubbing his back in small circles
SB: She's pregnant
Shanell froze.
SB: she's pregnant and she didnt tell me
He ran his hand over his face and Shanell slowly pulled her hand away from him. Her mind was going a mile a minute. She had feared losing him back to her before but now she was absolutely terrified. He was still speaking to her but she heard nothing of what he said. All she could think about was that fact that not only was she carrying his child but so was Nicki. His voice calling her pulled her from her thoughts.
SB: baby are you ok?
All she did was shake her head yes slowly without even looking over at him.
SB: I'm gonna go out for a little bit ok
Shanell: ok
She managed to get out. He kissed her forehead and ran his fingers over her cheek before he left. He knew Nicki wouldn't see him again so he needed to go see his sister.
**
They were getting dressed to go see Mama Carol when Nicki's phone rang. She answered without looking at the caller ID
Nicki: hello
Neeqa: we need to talk
Nicki: what about?
Neeqa: you'll find out when I get up to your suite.
She said and hung up. Nicki just put the phone back down and continued getting dressed. A good few minutes later she was putting a few things in her bag when Jhené walked back in.
Jhené: you have a visitor
She said with a hint of attitude and Neeqa rolled her eyes and walked past her over to Nicki;
Neeqa: when were you gonna tell him? Is that the reason you've been dressing this way lately? loose fitting tops, performing in flats? and oh what a glow your skin has.
Nicki: what are you talking about?
Neeqa: just stop!! You know exactly what I'm talking about Nicki. What you expect him to just stand aside, let you do whatever you please like this isnt his child growing inside of you.
Jhené's eyed Nicki with curiosity as she burst out laughing
Nicki: girl you really need to leave. If that is seriously what you came here to get on my case about. You need to go.
She said while laughing
Neeqa: oh it's a joke to you
Nicki: you fucking right it's a joke. That's why I'm laughing.
Shaneeqa just shook her head at her then turned and left. When she was out the door Jhené came back nd stood in the doorway arms folded across her chest looking at her sitting on the bed
Jhené: you told him you're pregnant?
She looked around at Jhené
Nicki: no... he assumed
Jhené: Why didnt you correct him?
Nicki: Idk.. I wasnt thinking.
Jhené: You weren't thinking... *chuckles* ok Onika. Are you ready to go?
She said a hint of anger in her voice
Nicki: I'm sor-
Jhené: Let's just go.. please
She said taking her bag up and heading for the door.
**
They were walking up the driveway when the front door flew open and Macaiah came running out.
Nicki: Whoa!! Hey lambchop!! i missed you!! *big smile*
Caiah:" I missed you too sis!
He kissed her cheek then pulled away and went to hug Jhené
Nicki: You cutting my hugs short now boy
Caiah: Nic you aren't the only one I have to hug
Nicki: Jhen don't want your hugs
Caiah: dead at you thinking you're the only one she loves
Nicki: Oh... Oop! Well excuse me. Where's mama at?
They all laughed
Caiah: making lunch
He said as they walked in the front door.
Nicki: ooh spaghetti I bet
She said running off to the kitchen
Caiah: Aint you feeding her?
He asked Jhené
Jhené: of course I am. But you know how you're sister is
Caiah: wait.. whoa!! pauz!! Double pauz!! never mind forget I even asked
he said walking towards the kitchen leaving her. Jhené's jaw dropped as she realized what he was getting at. When they got to the kitchen Nicki was standing by the sink talking to her mom. She stopped talking as soon as Jhené walked in
Jhené: Mrs Maraj *smiles*
Carol: hello, how have you been?
Jhené: I've been good. You?
Carol: I've been better
Nicki eyed her mother. Carol smiled at Jhené
Carol: are you ladies going to eat?
Nicki: yes mom. you hungry babe?
She asked Jhené and Carol's facial expression changed as the words left Nicki's lips.
Jhené: Not really but I'll have some of her famous spaghetti.
Nicki: It tastes just like mine
Jhené: I doubt it! She taught you! *giggles*
Carol: That's right and yours will never taste better than mine ms thing.
She said with a little giggle as she made them plates. Caiah sat between the too at the table eating. While they were eating the doorbell rang and Carol left them to go see who it was. It was when they were finishing up the dishes that Carol walked back in and asked to speak with Nicki. Jhené stayed with Caiah as she walked out behind her mother to the living room. Nicki froze when she walked in and saw Safaree sitting on her mother's couch.
Carol: Is there something you want to tell me Onika?
Nicki: a-about what?
She asked and stuttered as her eyes shifted from Safaree's to her mom's. Carol folded her arms and Nicki took a deep breath.
Nicki: whatever he told you, It's a lie
She looked at him a rolled her eyes
Carol: and why would he just blatantly come here to lie to me Nicki?
Nicki: because he wants attention *sucks teeth*. Safaree why are you here?
Carol: I know you did not just hiss at me
Nicki: no ma I didn't
She said unfolding her arms.
Carol: are you pregnant?
She didnt respond. Carol walked over to her and stood looking into her eyes
Carol: are you pregnant?
Nicki: how old am I 16?
Carol: dont get smart with me answer the question.
Nicki: I'm not pregnant. You of all people would have known if I was
Carol: or maybe I wouldnt cause lately I've been finding hard to see the daughter I raised.
Nicki: mom...
Carol turned around to Safaree and he stood up
SB: she's lying
he said in a soft but angry voice
Nicki: the fuck!!
Carol spun around and faced her daughter
Nicki: No Im sorry mom but how's he just gonna stand there and say that?
SB: Because you are!! You told me!! You know better than to play with me about something like this Nicki!! Gaahh!!! why are you doing this?! What you think you're gonna keep me away from my kid so you can raise him with Jhené?!
Nicki: FIRST OF ALL I DIDNT TELL YOU SHIT!! YOU ASSUMED!!! SECONDLY, I'M NOT FUCKING PREGNANT SAFAREE!!!
SB: JUST STOP LYING!!!
She bit her lip to stop herself from telling him the paragraph of bad words she wanted to throw his way and took a deep breath.
Nicki: For the last.. fucking.. time. I'm NOT pregnant.
SB: you...
Nicki: Shanell is.
A deathly silence fell over the room. Jhené had heard the commotion and walked in to see what was going on, Caiah was right behind her. Nicki turned towards the kitchen doorway
Nicki: we're leaving.
She walked over to her little brother, hugged and kissed him. She walked over to her mom
Nicki: I'm sorry for all of this I really am and I'm sorry that you dont see who you wanna see in me anymore when really nothings changed but the gender of the person that I love.
She said tearing up. She hugged her mom then walked out the front door.
Carol: Onika...
She called softly but said no more as her daughter disappeared out the door.
Jhené: I'm sorry. It was great seeing you again.
She gave Carol a hug and left. Safaree still hadn't said another word or stopped looking at the wall
Carol: are you ok?
She asked but he didnt hear her.
****
He couldn't face her, so he stayed away for a few weeks or what seemed like a few weeks. He didnt come out unless it was to eat he didnt go anywhere he didnt speak to anyone except Shaneeqa and when he did, it was no more than 2 or 3 words a day. he didnt call Shanell, didnt text her. All this time, she'd been hiding something this important from him. When he finally decided to see her, he got to her place and she wasnt there. He called her phone but got no answered so he decided to sit in his car and wait for her to come back. He waited until he fell sleep. When he woke up it was after 6 the next morning. Her car still wasnt in the driveway and he reached onto the passenger seat for his phone to call her number a few more times. It was on the sixth call and second ring that he got answer from a very sleepy voice.
D: hello
SB: hello
D: how may I help you
SB: Shanell?
D: no. she's sleeping. can i take a message?
SB: just tell her to call Safaree
D: sure
She said and hung up. He took a deep breath, took his hat off and ran his hand over his head. All day he waited for her phone call and got none. 9:30pm and he was sitting in the living room staring at his phone that sat on the coffee table. When he couldn't wait anymore he grabbed it and dialed her number. She asnwered on the fourth ring
Shanell: what do you want?
SB: Is that how you great the father of your unborn child? Where are you?
She fell silent over the phone
SB: you didnt think that it was important enough to tell me you were pregnant?
She still didnt answer
SB: ANSWER ME!!
He yelled and he heard her gasp.
SB: Where are you?
Shanell: You dont need me Safaree you have her and her baby.
He sighed
SB: She's not pregnant... Look where are you I need to see you.
Shanell: Faree I cant... It's been a month and two days since I've heard from you, seen you. All this time you were worried about her. You would never choose me over her. I had to make choices that were best suitable for me and my career.
SB: What kinda choices Shanell? Not telling me you are carrying my child? Running off to stay with your sister?
Shanell: was... carrying your child.
SB: Wh-what the Fuck did you just say?!
Shanell: I'm sorry Faree.
She said before she hung up.
SB: NO!! NO!
He yelled over and over again as he smashed the glass on the coffee table and threw his phone at the wall. His chest tightened as he fell to his knees crying.
Po Faree :(!! LEAVE A COMMENT!!
Monday, 18 February 2013
Snippet
The crowd was live she seemed to have a lot of fun on stage but as soon as she got off it was back to her bad mood. She had told Terrence and Lauren to make sure everything was packed to go before her set knowing she'd want to leave immediately after the show. So they went ahead of her as they walked back to her dressing room and got the bags taking them to the cars. Her body guards stood by the back exit. She had stopped in the hallway to take her heels off when she heard his voice say her name
SB: Nicki
She turned around
SB: may I speak to you for a minute
Nicki: *folds arms* go ahead.
SB: in private? please?
She looked over at Jhené who bent and took her shoes up and head for the dressing room door she came back out with hers and Nicki's bags and dropped her hello kitty slippers for her to put on.
Jhené: I'll be in the car.
Nicki: Just wait out here. *takes her bag* I'ma change when I'm done.
She opened the dressing room door and dropped her bag on the couch as he closed the door. Jhené went down to stand by the exit so she wouldn't hear what they were talking about. She was scared she'd hear something that would leave her hurting.
SB: you were great up there
Nicki: Thanks
SB: How have you been?
Nicki: fine Safaree. Just perfect. You?
SB: I'm good. Been better... Nic there's something I need to speak to you about?
Nicki: what's that? oh.... wait... If you're gonna tell me you're fucking Shanell I already know just a heads up so you dont waste you're time. Annnnd if you were thinking I was gonna care, I DONT.
SB: should have known Lauren would tell you.
Nicki: Even though she did say it to me I had already known so don't go blaming her. Is that all? cause I need to change.
SB: I didn't even come to... you know what, just forget it *shakes head* Bye Nicki
Nicki: Bye... Oh and congrats daddy.
He stopped in the doorway and turned looking at her
SB: What did you just say?
Nicki: Bye Safaree
Thursday, 14 February 2013
Working On It
Ok so guys I'm trying to get this post done, but I CAN'T FOCUS FOR THE LIFE OF ME. Cause such person has me all in my feelings. ugh!! But let's see how tonight goes. Sorry to have yall waiting soo long. Love you guys! :*
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